On the receiving end of kindness

I had some unexpected surgery three weeks ago.  My daughter Elana on the west coast let family and friends know by creating an email group and encouraging them to get in touch with me.  I received many emails and some get well cards of encouragement.  Each contact meant so much to me.  Some people offered prayer, others offered funny stories and still others told me how much they cared about me.  I know these people.  Many have heavy burdens of their own at this time in their own lives and yet they each reached out to me.  People came with prepared food too so I could take a break from the ordinary jobs of life while I recovered.  My daughter Rachel took the bus in from London to look after me for the first few days out of hospital.    I saw the surgeon yesterday.  I am relieved that the biopsies indicated that the tissue was benign.  I found that being on the receiving end of kindness to be a necessary lesson in humility.

Going the distance

My friend told me that she heard from a a former partner who is very ill now.  He lives in rural northern Ontario and must get treatment in a big city hospital.  Without hesitation, she volunteered to drive many hours to his home and spend a week to help put his things in order and close up his home and get him to treatment far away from there. That takes alot of energy and a heart filled with kindness for others.  I have watched her do wonderful acts of kindness for many others over the years.  She inspires me.  Who insprires you?

Offering quiet encouragement

My exercise regime includes an aquafit class early on Sunday mornings.  It is always crowded and regulars try, sometimes with great vigour,  to get to their favourite spots at the front of the pool as soon as they can.  This morning we were joined by a woman in her last trimester of pregnancy.  I think this was her first time in this class.  She was relegated to a spot in the back corner of the pool near where I was working out.  The aquafit instructor noticed this newcoming after leading the class for about 10 minutes.  She walked over to her and quietly added some special instructions so that no harm would come from exercise that may be too strenuous, and then the instructor casually walked back to the front of the pool shouting instructions to the rest of us all the way. 

It's challenging to notice someone special in a crowd who may need some individual attention.  I was impressed.

Lost Hat

We went out for dinner with friends in a busy restaurant but had a drink together first in a bar below the restaurant.  It was a cold night and I wore a favourite tam.  Somehow, I forgot my hat in the bar and did not return for a few hours.  I asked about my hat, which was reversible, one side was false leopard skin and the other was plain black wool.  I had worn the leopard skin side out that evening.  The hostess found my hat and put it aside, carefully turning it to the black side so that only the owner could identify as her own and I got my hat back.  Sometimes people look out for you when you don't even expect it.

Supporting a colleague

My regular hairdresser has been off sick for a few months.  I saw a sign in the salon change room inviting all the clients of the salon to make an appointment on Sunday, February 20 for any service.  Each of  the staff at the Salon will donate their pay and tips to my hairdreser who has been off work for so long.  This salon is not usually open on Sundays so each person is also donating a day off too.  It is amazing to notice all the different ways that people can give to each other.

A Kindness that can not be Returned

Today was the funeral of the policemen, Ryan Russell, who was killed on duty.  The police station where he worked is on the corner of my street and the funeral parade passed 2 blocks away.  I went to see the parade of marching police from Toronto and from many other places.  I watched all the people who came to the funeral from other Canadian cities and from the US.  They marched for over an hour to honour him.  Although people repeated the same things about the policeman, it seemed appropriate to express a common feeling so widely.

We often return favours to each other and some of us note who did these favours for us.  Attending a funeral is a kindness that can not be returned to the giver of the kindness. 

Quiet Dignity

Early Wednesday morning, a Toronto police officer was killed while trying to stop a stolen snowplow.  On Thursday morning, I attended a very moving ceremony to welcome 42 new Toronto police officers at their training academy.  There was a reception held for "VIPs" prior to the ceremony.  The senior police officers and politicians talked in quiet voices to each other until we were gathered together to march into the Hall were the ceremonies would begin.  Usually, I feel comfortable walking up to strangers in setting like this and introducing myself.  I sat by myself watching the roomful of people whom I did not know.  I did not want to interrupt their conversations.  Even if they were not directly talking about the events of the previous day, every conversation was affected by those events. 

One person who was responsible for getting all the VIPs placed correctly in the procession approached me.  Somehow, my name was not on his list.   He apologized to me and assured me that I was welcome and that there was a place for me in this VIP section. 

Attending an event with so much military precision, pomp and ceremony was an unusual experience for me.  All the speakers at the ceremonies remembered their fallen colleague in their remarks.  When all the new police officers were introduced and congratulated, the ceremony was over.  Their friends and families joined them.  There was very muted joy in the room.  A ceremony that usually ended with exhuberance and celebration ended differently yesterday.  It was an honour to attend.