Walking in Jerusalem 48 years after reunification

We arrived on a crowded intercity bus from Tel Aviv in the morning on the Jerusalem Day holiday. Traffic was very dense with cars and trucks, horns blowing, people crossing between cars, motorcycles weaving around lanes all in 34 degree heat in full sun. It was a school holiday and there were children in the streets everywhere. We saw groups of teens, parents with small kids, soldiers with heavy back packs and long guns slung over their shoulders, Boy Scouts in uniforms, people wearing white shirts in celebration of the reunification of the city almost 50 years ago.

Jerusalem is a stone city. Apartment buildings, houses, roads and sidewalks are built from the golden white chunks of stone that are dug out to form foundations and shaped by masons to become the building blocks for the project..  Walking on the hilly streets is challenging on a hot day as the heat is also reflected back on you by the stones. Every long walk up and down stony hilled streets is aerobics. Seniors with infirmities and mothers with strollers and small children in tow had the toughest times.

We could not find the small hotel we were seeking. Every person whom I asked suggested we walk straight for 2 blocks and turn left. I finally approached 2 young women who cheerfully looked up the address on their iPhones and then also called the front desk for direction. They were heading to the City celebrations but went out of their way to walk us to the front door.  One woman was so proud of her city that she caught a discarded plastic bag in mid air and put it in the nearest garbage receptical. We would not have spotted the hotel because there is no sign. It is over stores at street level in an refurbished 100 year old building. The guy at the small front desk greeted us with a broad smile. "You were the guys who phoned? Welcome."

Anticipation

Getting reading for travel is such challenging task. I am preparing for holiday. How much should we leave to chance?  I am not only talking about choosing what to pack. Usually, I try to learn a few dozen words in the language of the counties we are visiting. This time, I have not prepared.  I read histories of the places and recent fiction to get a feel of the place. I did not get to that step in my plans either.   I am flying without all my usual preparation. 

I spoke with some friends who travel frequently. "Leave yourself open to the surprise, the frustration, the unique experiences that only happen when you are open for them". I am going to do just that. I will keep a running blog. 

A Bus-driver's Patience

Dark and early this morning, I took the Bathurst bus to my destination.  The extra-long bus was crowded with people on their way to work.  My exit door emptied onto a pile of ice-covered snow.  I hesitated to jump off because I was trying to locate a safe part of the ice-pile.  I was the only person disembarking and the bus driver was far from me.  But he waited patiently while I chose my spot, jumped on it, got my balance again and was safely on the sidewalk.  Then, he closed the door while I was walking beside the bus, and pulled into traffic.

I realized after he took off, that if he did not take care that I was on the sidewalk safely, I could have fallen under the rear wheels of the bus.  I was so thankful for the TTC bus driver's patient kindness.

The Encourager of Kindness

I was shopping at Costco last Sunday, buying more than I ever intended, when I bumped into my aunt's caregiver.  It was her day off and she had my aunt's loneliness on her mind.  My aged aunt lives in a nursing home and she told me that my aunt had few visitors over the last couple of weeks.  With her enthusiastic encouragement, I promised that I  would come for a visit in the coming week.  We visited on Friday afternoon.  There was a big sign outside her unit warning visitors of respiratory infections within.  Residents could not leave the unit and visitors must be sure of their own good health status when visiting.

My aunt has been confined to a wheelchair for several years and suffers from deafness.  It is frustrating for her to carry on a friendly conversation with other people.  The ambient noise prevents her from hearing anyone clearly.  She looks into the middle distance in boredom.  She looked very pretty when we visited.  The caregiver had just done up her hair and put on a fresh coat of nail polish.  When my husband and I sat down to chat, she ignored me at first and then looked up in surprise to see us visiting.  It was quiet in her room so we could chat more easily and the time flew buy.  When we got up to leave, my aunt said to me "I have enjoyed every single minute of this visit" 

I had not been planning a special visit to her this week but her very caring attendant encouraged me to see my lonely aunt and she made all the difference to my aunt and to me.  The caregiver's kindness had brought out the better me.

The kindness of knowing just what you need.

I am fortunate to still have friends from my childhood and teenage years.  In some years we have shared our lives and traveled the same part of the road forward and in other years, we have lost touch with one another for months.  The most prominent feature of a long-standing friendship is the ability to pick up the conversation where you left it so many months ago.

Some of my friends have suffered profound loss in their lives, of parents, spouses, children, their own good health.  But we know each other very well. We try to lend an arm to each other on the journey.  It helps to know what gives your friend pleasure and what frustrates them.  My friends are great observers.

One friend sent me goofy get well cards everyday when I was recovering from major surgery.  I laughed until I was finally better.

Another friend proposed a day of learning drawing outdoors with an artist whom we both admire as a great teacher.  My first effort was just awful.  Had I lost the ability to draw from life?  I just needed a few reminders from the great teacher and I was on my way again.

When my beloved Dad died, one friend remembered with me some of my dad's acts of kindness with others.  I smiled for the rest of the day.

Friends just know how to help.

The Chair

I was an outpatient at a very busy physiotherapy clinic.   There were many patients in the room, each attended by a therapist.  An elderly Asian lady was brought into the large room.  Behind her was her elderly husband.  Both appeared to be recent immigrants and did not speak or understand English well.  Clinic staff were directing the husband to wait for his wife outside the treatment space but he did not want to leave.  Finally the staff gave up and left the old man standing near a wall watching his wife's treatment with interest. 

My therapist excused herself and quietly went to another room to get a chair for the old man.  He hesitated and finally with her encouragement he sat down.  The therapist later commented to me that rules can't apply to all persons at all times. She was appropriately sensitive to the old couples' needs. 

Our society is rule-driven to create more efficiency in everything we do: Take a number! Park only here!  Wait in line! Give your message after the beep! Citizens to the right, Foreigners to the left! Raise your hands!  The rules seem to drive so many human interactions that the person gets lost in the cause of efficiency. 

We lose so much when we forget our obligations to each other as people.  The possibility for kindness in these human interactions are diminished by the strict applications of these rules.

Multifaith Leaders Mark Loss

Last month, two soldiers in uniform were killed by men who declared themselves soldiers of Islam.  The Toronto Area Interfaith Council held a memorial service in a beautiful dark church in downtown Toronto.  This was held before the actual funeral of the soldiers and feelings were raw.  None of us knew if another soldier would be targeted in the near future.

We were from the Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Baha'i, Sikh and Buddhist faiths.  We talked and prayed and sang about our feelings to each other.  The temptation to blame other adherents of the faith of the killers was never taken up.  Here in Canada we stress individual guilt rather than group guilt but we knew that blaming the faith group would be tempting in our general society if it happened again.  We are challenged  by these murders because these soldiers were killed because they represented our whole country to the killers.

The loss of these soldiers affected all our communities.  These soldiers represented Canada for us and their loss could affect our sense of safety in our society.

We each mourned the soldiers in the language of our own faith and our common language of English.  We trusted each other.  Mourning together was offering kindness to each other.